SEX....and "until death do us part."

So, I haven't blogged about work in a while and it is high time I reported another funny story. This happened a few months ago, but it is definitely worth telling.

We'll call my patient Mr. Yellow. Mr. Yellow is a pretty unlucky man. He's had diabetes since age 10 and now, at age 59, his body is giving up on him. Mr. Yellow has a wonderful, wonderful wife. I have never met a woman so devoted to her husband. When I first met Mr. Yellow, he was in the hospital for aspiration pneumonia and had developed dysphagia (swallowing problems resulting in food going down into his lungs) with no known cause. I had explained to Mrs. Yellow that we had a therapy (VitalStim) that retrained the swallowing muscles. We've had great success with this therapy on people who've had strokes, but I couldn't promise her it would work on her husband.

Now, Mr. Yellow has been too sick for many years for Mrs. Yellow, who still works, to take care of him. So, he lives in a nursing home. Mrs. Yellow comes and visits him everyday. When I told her about VitalStim, I informed her that it would be quite difficult to get Mr. Yellow's nursing home to bring him to therapy. Mrs. Yellow told me she would do everything in her power to get Mr. Yellow in for VitalStim therapy.

So, a little time passed and Mr. Yellow finally came in for VitalStim swallowing therapy. Now, if you could see Mr. Yellow, you might at first think he was dead. Mr. Yellow's diabetes has blinded him, so he always keeps his eyes close. His diabetes has also caused him to loose feeling in his legs and back, so he is wheelchair bound. When you live in a nursing home, you get stuck using their crummy wheelchairs. Mr. Yellow's chair was quite old and usually jimmy-rigged in someway to make it work.

Mr. Yellow's diabetes had also decreased his auditory processing time. When ever he was asked a question, he took forever to answer and usually had to be reminded by his loving wife that someone had asked him a question. Mr. Yellow's responses were always very short, rapid, and to the point.

So, one day during therapy, Mr. Yellow was being especially quite. I asked him, "Mr. Yellow, what are you thinking about?" He didn't respond. Usually when he didn't respond, I'd move the conversation in a different direction and brush off his non-response. This time, however, Mrs. Yellow said to her husband, "Mr. Yellow, Emily asked you what you are thinking about?" Very loudly, and quite to the point, Mr. Yellow responded, "SEX."

I just had to snicker and ask Mr. Yellow if he might want another bite of pudding, which he did. Afterwards, I commented to Mrs. Yellow that her husbands response was a good thing and that at least he still had a passion for living. I'm sure my comments made her feel only slightly less awkward.

I'll never forget Mr. Yellow and his declaration. I'll also never forget Mrs. Yellow. She showed me what real love is and taught me the real meaning of "until death do us part."