Called To Serve

I've had the title of this blog on my to-do list for a long time. When I had a free minute, I would look at it and just not be ready to write about it. I'm ready now.

When you are able to do something you love, actually change the outcome of a person's life, and serve the Lord at the same time, you have found your calling. I know I've blogged about this before, but it must be restated. I can honestly come home from a grueling day at work, of which I have surely complained, and still feel like I have served the Lord.

Like I said, I've been wanting to write this for a while, but today I had to. Today was one of those days where I felt the Lord working inside me. We have been so busy at work lately. With the economy in the toilet, more and more people are skipping out on preventative health care and are ending up in worse shape at our hospitals. That means we've been swamped. The volume of our adult caseload has increased at least 50% in the last two months alone. But, I digress...

I work for a non-profit Catholic hospital that serves patients from the minute they roll into the emergency room until they go home or die. Unfortunately, because I deal with swallowing, a lot of my patients die. At 25 years old, I check the obituaries every day looking for my patients; sometimes I cry when I find them. And it's hard.

Part of my job is explaining to families that their mom or dad will never eat safely again. "I'm sorry Mr. H, the swallowing study did not go well and your dad isn't safe to eat anything. If your dad does eat, it will go into his lungs and he will get pneumonia and die." I hate having to say those words to a family. Not only do I have to tell a family that their loved one can't eat safely anymore, I also have to tell them that they have a decision to make: let your family member continue eating with the understanding that it will kill them, or take away their only pleasure in life and keep them alive.

I think having to make the decision on whether or not to let a family member continue eating is even harder than making the decision to pull the plug. When a family decides to pull the plug, the disease process is final, their loved one's body is gone, and the grieving process can begin. When a family has to decide whether or not to let mom or dad continue eating, the consequences can result in a slow, yet dignified death or in a prolonged state of limbo. I tell my patients and families: "There is no wrong decision in this situation and I understand the consequences of both choices you are faced with."

I hate having to say these words, but I know God is working through me when I speak them because I am able to communicate this message well. Today, such a situation happened. I had to tell my patient's only son that his father would never eat safely again. I had to tell him that he had to decide what to do when his father asked to eat. I had to tell the son in the gentlest way possible, that his dad wanted to eat and it was time to let his father go.

I don't do my job for compliments, but people tell me, after witnessing the above conversations, that I do a very good job at presenting this information in a comforting, Christian way. That's how I know the Lord is working through me.

As I type these words, I can't help but cry. I cry for my patient, knowing that he will leave this earth soon. I cry for my patient's son, knowing that he will be without his only living relative and that in the process he may have to make the hardest decisions of his life. I want to cry happy tears too, because soon my patient will suffer no longer and he will be with our Lord; but I don't think I'm there yet.

I'm sure having to say these words to patients and families will never get any easier. But that's ok. I know the Lord put me here to deliver this information with the utmost compassion and respect for life. I know I can do that; I know that's why I love what I do; and I know that's how I'm called to serve.

I'm Pathetic

Ugh, I feel so pathetic....I cried in physical therapy today. And I don't just mean a sniffle and a few tears, I mean full out hyperventilating water works. And, the best part....I work with all these people. Going into this surgery, I knew the recovery would be rough, but I didn't know it would be this rough. Case in point: I now use a crutch!

So, I went back to work on Monday and didn't use any type of assistive device; I just limped around. After work I went home and ended up falling in my house. Monday night was murder and I could barely get out of bed. So, I busted out the Pimp Cane.

I used the Pimp Cane for about half the day on Tuesday until another physical therapist offered to let me use a much cooler cane. Now, if your going to have to use a cane, it might as well be a cool one! So, out came the leopard print soft cane (pardon the picture...it doesn't do it justice!).

Well, I woke up Wednesday morning and reached for the leopard print cane and immediately dropped it....my hand hurt so bad! I actually bruised the palm of my hand putting all of my weight on the wooden handle of the pimp cane. And, to top it off, because I was using mostly my left leg to walk, I strained my calf muscle as well! I am just falling apart....

So, in physical therapy this afternoon, my physical therapist basically told me I really needed to be at home. Well, that's not happening. So, as a compromise, she issued me a forearm crutch. And boy, using it takes a lot of brain power!

Unfortunately, mine is not lime green. It is yellow and teal. We'll see what the consensus is at work tomorrow. Strangely, I've been getting called House lately....

Ok, enough venting for now. Thanks for all the support!

Addicted to Blog Reading

I must confess that I am officially addicted to Blog reading. Every day after work, I come home and check every Blog I read for updates. Sometimes, when there are lots of new posts to sift through, I'll spend 2+ hours reading my Blogs. I love reading about people's every day lives, funny antics, and crazy cakes (see my Blog reviews below). If I read something particularly notable, I have even been known to talk about it at work. I know, I'm ridiculous!

I felt compelled to write this post because I read an especially awesome Blog post this morning. Kristen in California wrote about the Do's and Don'ts for Sending Racially Insensitive E-Mail Forwards. I loved this post because we've all been hit with these e-mails: You check your Inbox and your jaw drops. Why do people propagate this garbage! Anyway, her post is very insightful and worth the read. Check her out at: http://thehowertons.blogspot.com/

For those of you who would like to dedicate more of your time to Blog reading (like you really need to spend more time doing this!!), here are a few of my favorites that are definitely worth checking out!

Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Horribly, Hilariously Wrong
I LOVE reading this Blog. If you need a good laugh, bookmark this page! The author, Jen, is an active poster who augments the reader-submitted photos with hilarious captions and stories. Check out the archives for posts such as Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys, Sexual Harassment Cake, Inspiration vs Perspiration, and When Bride's Have No Budget. Do be warned: once you start reading, you'll never stop! Now, go check it out: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

And Your Little Do Too...
This is a great Blog if your looking for some fun, new recipes. The author, Kelly, is a girl I met in college. Her Blog is a well-written snapshot of her professional adventures, upcoming wedding, and two dogs. She also posts some really great recipes....like Black Bean Brownies. Check her out at: http://kellyandherlittledogtoo.blogspot.com/

The Paro Post
This is my friend Becca's Blog. She does an amazing job of sharing the daily joys and struggles of being a new wife and mom. She just had beautiful baby boy and I couldn't be happier for her! Check her out at: http://www.theparopost.blogspot.com/

Sarahenity NOW!
My friend from graduate school, Sarah, authors a very creative Blog full of awesome photography and inquisitive posts. Check her out at: http://www.sarahtopia.blogspot.com/

Traveling With The Thompsons
This is a Blog, written by my friends from high school, that chronicles their family's missionary preparation in Costa Rica. Once they have completed their preparation, Alison, Justin, and their daughter Cailyn will serve as missionaries in Peru. I love reading about their cultural and spiritual experiences in a country far from home; it is truly inspirational. Check them out at: http://thethompsonfamily.wordpress.com/

Mama Manifesto
This is a GREAT professional Blog co-authored by Kristen (of The Howerton's reviewed above) and Ali that offers practical advice and tips for busy, eco-friendly moms. These Mamas review products, share recipes, offer sanity-saving tips, share their own mothering mishaps, and nurture an on-line community of passionate woman. A fabulous read for mothers and future moms. Check out Mama Manifesto at: http://mamamanifesto.blogspot.com/

With this post, I hope you've found a few more places to spend your Blog time. If I've featured your Blog in my review and you're not cool with that, leave me a comment and I'll remove my review. Happy Reading!!!

Bored

So, this whole stuck in bed thing is getting pretty old. I am feeling a lot better, but my leg definitely still hurts. I was really looking forward to taking a shower today (yes, do the math...I feel disgusting), but I have to wait until my mom can come and supervise...lovely!

Anyway, I've been working on wedding stuff and and reading a new book (The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke by Suze Orman - highly recommended, even if your not broke), but my attention span only lasts so long. So, for your reading pleasure (and my sanity), a distraction, compliments of Morgan.....

Welcome to the 2009 edition of getting to know your family and friends (better late than never)!

1. What is your occupation right now?
Speech-Language Pathologist.
2. What color are your socks right now?
Light blue lotion socks, compliments of Jon.
3. What are you listening to right now?
Dogs barking outside me window.
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Potato soup from Blue Baker for lunch.
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes, though Jon says I ride the clutch.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Jon; he called to check on me and give me good news!
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
One of my best and oldest friends :)
8. How old are you today?
25 years, 2 months, and 25 days.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
College football.
10. What is your favorite drink?
Non-Alcoholic: Cranberry Juice; Alcoholic: Margarita!
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes; went a little overboard with the SunIn in middle school!! Never again, though!
12. Favorite food?
Queso from Matt's El Rancho...Thank You Morgan!!!
13. What is the last movie you watched?
Monty Python and the Holy Grail...in preparation for Spamalot.
14. Favorite day of the year? D
efinitely Christmas Day.
15. How do you vent anger?
Unfortunately, I stew. And sometimes cry.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Baby dolls.
17. What is your favorite season?
Winter.
18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Not in love with either, really. How about Raspberries!!
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
Blog back, maybe....
20. Who is the most likely to respond?
I would say Morgan, but she already did this thing!
21. Who is least likely to respond?
Well, considering I'm not tagging anyone....who knows!
22. Living arrangements?
By myself!!! But, not for much longer. :)
23. When was the last time you cried?
On Monday, when they told me they had to do the more extensive surgery on my knee.
24. What is on the floor of your closet?
Neatly organized shoes, luggage, and storage bins.
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are this sending to?
Morgan
26. What did you do last night?
Talked to Stephanie, watched TV, and stayed up until 3am playing solitaire on my iPodTouch
27. What are you most afraid of?
Roaches....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Cheese....everything is better with cheese!
29. Favorite dog breed?
Boston Terriers, but French and English Bulldogs come in a close second and third.
30. Favorite day of the week?
Thursday...best TV night.
31. How many states have you lived in?
Two...Kansas and Texas.
32. Diamonds or pearls?
Definitely diamonds!!! Sorry Jon...
33. What is your favorite flower?
Gerber Daisies, Tulips, and Roses.

There, that was a nice break!

Digital Scrap Booking

I'm sure like many of you out there, I love to scrapbook. I've been scrap booking since I was a senior in high school, when we were given a year-long assignment to compile a scrapbook of all the significant things we experienced during our last year in grade school. Though it was my fist scrapbook, I can honestly say it is the best one I've ever made and I still have it. In that book are 9/11 newspaper clippings, my college acceptance letters, concert ticket stubs, and a whole slew of other mementos.

Though I love scrap booking and could spend days at a time doing it, the one huge downside is that it is SO expensive. When you're in the midst of creating a book, you never realize how much every little trip to Hobby Lobby for paper, and special scissors, and adornments, and stamps, and stickers, and pens costs. And don't forget the price of printing your pictures. By the time I'm finished, I could have easily spent $150 to $200 dollars.

So, given that I was in school and money was tight, I took a hiatus from scrap booking. That was the case, until I found.....Shutterfly!

Shutterfly is an on-line photo management sight that allows you to create tons of neat things with your pictures. You can create cards, magnets, mouse pads, calendars, coffee mugs, Christmas ornaments, and best of all....Digital Scrapbooks!

The digital scrap booking feature is awesome! It allows you to choose your photos, choose your layouts, choose your backgrounds, choose your fonts, and add all sorts of embellishments. The best thing is that once you create your book on-line, you can have it printed and delivered. A typical 8x8 book (the ones I always make) will run you anywhere from $25 to $80 bucks, depending on the number of pages you have. Now, that may seem kind of expensive, but considering that includes all of your photo processing, professional printing and binding, and delivery, it's a deal you can't beat. Plus, Shutterfly sends out TONS of coupons!

I've made four books so far from trips Jon and I have taken. I'm working on my 5th book, which is a favorite family recipe book. Surprisingly, Jon likes to help design the books too, so we've resolved to create a book after every trip we take.

For anyone interested, here is the latest coupon: Simply choose 20 photos to create your photo book and enjoy 20% off. Offer ends March 10, 2009. Promo code: BOOKSANDPRINTS

Recovering!

So, my surgery today went well. However, we will definitely be postponing our wedding dance lessons until May. Rats...

I've been having knee pain and intermittent swelling since the day after Thanksgiving. Though no obvious, pinpoint, injury occurred, I am hypothesizing that I hut my knee either hula hooping on the Wii or in my step aerobics class. I think for my pride's sake, I'll go with the later explanation.

Anyway, I went in today so the surgeon could perform and arthroscopic debridement of my knee. Though I had no explicit tears, my MRI did show some plica (or junk as my physical therapist likes to call it) irritating my knee cap, which my surgeon would remove. The surgeon said that I might also have a ligament pulling my knee cap off center, and if that was the case he would have to perform a lateral release. I prayed and prayed that this would not be the case, but unfortunately, it was.

The recovery from a lateral release is much longer than a basic debridement. I'll be swollen and hobbling around (possibly on crutches) for 3-4 weeks and won't be completely healed for 3 months! And, it is apparently much more painful (though I'm sure the pain pills are skewing my perception of that at the moment!).

But, the silver lining on all of this is...

a) that the problem is fixed.

b) that the problem wasn't too serious.

c) that I'll be all healed for the wedding and the honeymoon!

d) that I got to spend more time with Jon and test drive his husband skills! (And don't worry, they're good!)

I'll be stuck in bed through Wednesday and will hopefully be back to work on Thursday!

The Length of Lent...

As the liturgical season of Lent is quickly approaching, I am reminded of a funny story.

But first, a little background. Growing up, I was blessed with a strong (not radical) religious education. I went to Catholic school for three years and had parents who taught our religious education classes in addition to educating us in our faith at home. Attending religious education classes all throughout primary school was never really a chore and I feel very blessed to have parents who made faith education a priority. I believe it was my strong religious education base that made keeping my faith throughout college much easier, and for this I am very grateful.

So, when my mom asked me to teach religious education with her at our church last year, I agreed. Now, last year we had a very smart and outgoing group of 4th grade girls and all of our lessons were relatively easy to teach and explain. This year, however, it's taking a lot more effort and repetition for the information to sink in, which makes for some pretty funny stories.

Case in point:

A few weeks ago, we were studying the liturgical seasons of the church. We have a very active group of girls this year, one of which loves to answer every question, even though she rarely has the answer. I'll call this little girl Holly.

Me: Alright, who knows what the next liturgical season is?
Holly (jumping out of her chair): I do I do!!!
Me: Ok, Holly, what is the next liturgical season?
Holly (obviously reading from the book): LENT!
Me: Good! Ok, now, tell me about lent.
Holly: Um, I don't know....
Me: Ok, how long is lent?
Holly: 6 days!!!
Me: No. Lent is 40 days long. Can you tell me why lent is 40 days long?
Holly: Um, I don't know....
Me: Ok, Lent is 40 days long because that's how long Jesus was in the.....
Holly: WAR!

Now, I know I shouldn't laugh when they get a question wrong, but this one was just too funny and both my mom and I busted out laughing! At least Holly's enthusiastic!